Patti Shaffner is a Grief Tender. In May of 2019, her husband David Cowan, a Hospice Nurse and Somatic BodyWorker, died suddenly and unexpectedly. Although she had been with both parents when they died, lost friends, and a young niece, she found that grief support sucks. Not just in her region, but in our over-culture as well.

Struck with a profound grief and no solid support, she went on to learn more about grief support. In 2021, she studied with David Kessler to become a peer-to-peer Certified Grief Educator. In 2023, she attended a five-month Grief Ritual Tender training with Francis Weller, PhD. Patti has also studied with and learned from others as well: Dr Mia Hetényi and Mirabai Starr, and countless books and a whole lotta writhing around in her own grief to find solid ground where there had been none.

Patti considers herself a Grief Literacy Advocate and believes we don’t flounder as much when there is space and time for grieving together.

“I do this because I believe we all deserve support for all the many griefs we meet in life. I hear the sorrow. I see the pain. I wish I had been able to find – in those early excruciating days – someone to listen and remind me that I was normal and that grief is not something to cure or fix or heal or get over – rather it is evidence of love. Grief is Love – Our tears – they are Holy, Holy.”